"Now both of you drop your weapons." Just as Vi and Nny dropped their
I heard glass breaking and something ran into my back, knocking me
wig was knocked askew and my glasses had fallen off. I grabbed what was
back and held it in front of me, I could just barely make out a
shape, WIR. I'm not going to stop Vi next time she tries to flush him
the toilet I thought, Now to find my glasses.
On hands and knees I crawled around feeling for my glasses. Right as my
fingers touched the rim of my glasses, I realized something didn't feel
right. There was no familiar weight on top of my head. I picked up my
and put them on with one hand and put the other on top of my head. I
one-two antennae. Damn! My wig had fallen all the way off!
As I looked up at Nny and Vi I saw Nny with huge round eyes and Vi
WIR. Standing up, I saw my wig on the floor and bent to pick it up.
we going to do with this guy? I don't have any of my memory erasers
and he's probably guessed we're aliens by now. As I straightened up I
back at Nny, he wasn't as freaked but his eyes were still slightly
" Are . . .are you both Al . . .?" I looked at Vi as she took off her
maroon/black striped wig, nodding.
"Yes, we are Irkens of the Irken Empire."
" Then what are you doing on this hellhole?" This time Vi answered him.
"Well I was sent here to help an Invader who had been here for a few
and is a complete failure and not to mention an idiot. Qui?"
" Irk was boring, so I followed Vi here but didn't get here for a while
because my 'bot," I held up the strangled squirrel, "WIR, kept getting
coordinates mixed up. Since then we've stayed here because Irk is too
" How can a squirrel tell coordinates? Answer that and I won't be as
confused." He asked, looking at the squirrel I was holding by the ear.
unzipped WIR's zipper I felt something rub my ankle.
" You were supposed to keep him at home MIL." I said without looking
the orange cat.
" It's not my fault he got out, be glad I delayed that idiot big
mine this long." She answered as I felt a rub on my other ankle.
" MIL is right, that WIR you built is completely insane and practically
impossible to control. You're lucky we were able to delay him this
" Woooooo whooooo!!!!!" the robot in my hands started to scream and
himself in the head. "hehehehehe-" I clasped my hand over the robot's
" WIR, shut-up." His eyes went from green to red and his mouth shut.
"Uh-ohh, Qui, you better look up." MIL said as she stepped out of her
costume. As I looked up from WIR, I noticed they were at it again, but
time Nny had Vi with a knife to her neck. Great, just great, I'm going
have to shoot him for us to get out of here.
" MIL, QIR? Take WIR and get out of here, NOW." As the robots
pulled out one of my less deadly guns. The dial turned from painful
painful burn for my purpose.
Vi (with our freaky psychic twin thing) realized what I was about to do
stopped struggling so I could have better aim. I aimed directly at the
of his right arm and shot.
" YIPE!!!!!!" Jeez he's loud. He let go of Vi and started blowing on
Now for him not to follow us. I switched the dial to stun and shot him
head, he immediately dropped down unconscious.
" Vi, we're leaving."
" No." Vi pulled out a sickle and stood over Nny. " I want to kill
sighed and aimed at her head.
" You might want to change your mind Vi." She looked up, straight into
barrel of my gun.
"OK, we'll go. You know what that gun does to me when I wake up."
I smiled, went to the door and opened it.
"After you Vi." We left the house, leaving an unconscious, moaning
maniac in our wake.
On the way home, Vi changed her mind and decided to try to go back and
him. I had to stun her (great thinking!!) and then had to drag her all
way home. Later that night she woke up.
"Mommy, I don't want to go to sleep, the monsters will get me!!"